i hear ya... same here too.
what i would suggest would be to go to the "top 100s"page here:
https://www.modulargrid.net/e/modules/evaluationlists
and try to watch youtube demos for both the top 100 rated modules as well as the top 100 used ones. even if you don't watch the videos, the lists can help you create shortlists of "best" (subjective!) VCAs & VCFs etc. as much as i personally can't stand maths... there's a reason it's in both top 100 lists, but you should also go beyond and explore other options.
i was reading a "best filters" thread somewhere, and someone was gaga over the bubblesound SEM filter and there was some talk about oberheim filters. it might be on one of the top 100 lists, or towards the top of the filters list here when you sort by popularity (ANOTHER handy learning tool!) and then when i branched out, i learned about the studio electronics SEM, and liked the way it sounded even juicier than the bubblesound in a demo.
youtube is kind of a hit or miss thing as far as demos go as many of them suck, and you have different people doing different things in them. it's hard to compare the sound of square wave filter sweeps against a filter being used in a "complete mix", but you'll EVENTUALLY learn stuff by accident. there's also a really good modular basics series there by what sounds to be a german guy who explains what modules are and what they do. if nothing else, i learned that function generator really just means envelope generator & LFO, and is NOT some WTF is that category unto itself.
hope eventually you figure out the system that's exactly right for you. there's plenty of variety of modules to choose from for sure, and it is daunting when you're new to it. there's a lot of cross patching this into that and sequencing the other stuff people do i'd NEVER want to be bothered with. i'm coming at more from the perspective of wanting to cram a room full of basic synthesizers in a little box... a few VCOs and a few VCFs, and you have 100+ possible synth combinations. i'll let everyone else do the funky patching thing.